Sep 7, 2022
When this conversation closes, you'll remember the name Mishara D. Winston. What's more, you'll remember––or learn for the first time––how to make and keep promises to yourself.
That's all a boundary is, a commitment we hold sacred because we are sacred. We are worthy of promises kept. Even when we aren't doing it for someone else. Even when we're not striving for greatness. Even when we aren't struggling. These are potent reminders for Black women, the group first and most often pressured to break promises we've authored for ourselves.
Although I've only known Mishara for a few short months, I feel like we've known each other for a lifetime. As young as she is, Mishara's already retired from the role of traditional mental health therapist. She now operates from a zone more aligned with her spirit as a Black healer, working within her community to heal trauma and address the generational impact of trauma. Mishara leans into the holistic principles of Black community (self-awareness, accountability, compassion) and incorporates these gifts into her myriad regenerative spaces, including Tribe, Thrive, and Crave.
"I think of boundaries not as something we set, not as something we put up, and not as something that can be crossed, but as kept promises to ourselves," Mishara says, adding, "It's a contract between me and me––, and there's no way for another person to keep my promise to me."
When we sit with that explanation for a bit, we understand that boundaries are not inherently selfish or exclusionary (although the person trying to cross yours might beg to differ; let them). Instead, boundaries provide a map of our hearts to anyone willing to honor the terms under which they are created. That includes ourselves.
This colonial culture under which we're groomed is all too happy to help us break the promises we've made to ourselves, and the trickle-down effect of that severing is evident. But when we set our boundaries and keep that sacred pact, the juiciness can't help but flow outward. This is what Mishara describes as being in reciprocal alignment with community. And no one can stem that tide!
CONNECT WITH MISHARA D. WINSTON
If this conversation has brought you to an insight, a story, a sense of relief, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know.
LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey
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Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/